Holy Touch

The excitement built Friday afternoons; we'd call each other on the phone even though we'd just seen each other in the halls at school. I don't know why we felt like we couldn't make these plans at school, like the risk of getting caught there by teachers that didn't even notice us was greater than being overheard by our own parents.

We liked to build the anticipation; it was almost too much for me to bear. After we hung up the phone, I'd have to sit through a family dinner. Sometimes we watched a movie together, sometimes I locked myself in my bedroom and listened to music.

I slept as late as I could on Saturdays just so there would be less day to get through. I'd read without paying attention to the words. As soon as the sun started to set, I'd bid my farewells and walk over to your house. You met me halfway and we'd wander around a few blocks to waste time until we met up with the others.

Sometimes Lucy brought rum from her parents' liquor cabinet. Sometimes Billie snuck beers from the gas station. We'd pass back and forth, trying to be fair and equitable, but I always took as big of a gulp as I could stand. I'm sure everyone else did, too.

But we got buzzed and if we were lucky we got drunk and then we'd keep walking around the block or we'd sit and talk. I wish now I could remember what we talked about. What was there to say when you see each other every day in the halls of high school and don't have anything of a social life outside of each other? What ideas did we have hidden in our minds that came out after the liquor loosened us up?

I remember some of the things we did. I remember some of the ways I felt. But I can't remember what we said.

When it was clear there was no more alcohol for us and it felt like late enough that the house would be asleep, I'd head home. I'd ignore the cars that slowed to a crawl next to me. Don't make eye contact, don't say a word. 

No one taught me that but I figured it was the way to act.

Morning always came too soon, with my mother knocking on my door to wake me for church. I'd clean up and get dressed and trot after her into the cathedral, sit next to her on a wooden pew and pretend my head wasn't swimming. I tried to listen to the sermon and promise next week would be different.

444 words